Alain and Annette have paid a visit to Véronique and Michel, because their son, Ferdinand, attacked Bruno, the other  couple’s son. The meeting begins very politely, but soon starts to unravel, eventually descending into chaos. The day before, Michel had tipped the family’s pet hamster out of its cage and abandoned it in the street. This fact has been used against him by the other couple, to gain the moral high ground. In this speech, he fights back…

Veronique, I find it intolerable to be in the dock all of a sudden for this hamster saga that you’ve seen fit to reveal. It’s a personal matter which is nobody else’s business but ours and which has nothing to do with the present situation! And I find it incomprehensible to be called a killer! In my own home! […] My home, the doors of which I have opened wide in a spirit of reconciliation, to people who ought to be grateful to me for it! […] I feel no guilt whatsoever. I’ve always found that creature repulsive. I’m ecstatic that it’s gone. […] Their son bashes up Bruno, and I get shat on because of a hamster? […] Fuck the hamster! […]

Let me tell you this, I’m up to here with these idiotic discussions. We tried to be nice, we bought tulips, my wife passed me off as a lefty, but the truth is, I can’t keep this up anymore, I’m fundamentally uncouth.