Mrs K is at her son’s wedding. He is her pride and joy, and she can’t resist standing up to make a speech, much to his embarrassment..
(Posh public speaking voice) As the proud mother of the groom, I feel the need to answer Xavier’s fine speech with a few words of me own. Never was a mother more blessed than me in havin’ Carthage for a son. As a child he was uncommon good, never cried, never disobeyed, never raised his voice wance to me, never went about with a grumpy puss on him. Indeed he went to greatest pains always to see that me spirits were good, that me heart was uplifted. When his father died he used to come into the bed to sleep beside me for fear I would be lonely. Often I woke from a deep slumber and his two arms would be around me, a small leg thrown over me in sleep – He was also always aware of my abidin’ love for Our Lord, unlike some here. (glares at the CATWOMAN) and on wan occasion, me birthday it was, I looked out the back window and there he was up on the slope behind our house and what was he doin’? He was buildin’ Calvary for me. He’d hammered three wooden crosses and was erectin’ them on the slope Calvary-style. Wan for him, wan for me, and one for Our Lord. And we draped ourselves around them like the two thieves in the holy book, remember, Carthage?
Of course ya do, the three crosses ya made up on the slope and remember the wind was howlin’ and the pair of us yellin’ ‘Calvary! Calvary!’ to wan another. Of course ya remember. I’m only tellin’ yees this story as wan of the countless examples of Carthage’s kind nature and I only want to say that Caroline is very welcome into the Kilbride household. And that if Carthage will be as good a son to Caroline as he’s been a husband to me then she’ll have no complaints. (Raises her glass) Cheers.